Something I have always been teased about is how long it takes me to eat. I maintain my argument that you cannot possibly enjoy a rushed meal, because eating slowly allows you to savour the taste of the food.
Unfortunately, I seem to get a lot of stomach aches and yesterday, my dad came up with a theory.
"The reason you always feel sick is because you take so long to eat that your stomach becomes full of air," he declared. Perhaps I eat a little too slow, but I have proof that wolfing down your meal is far worse.
About a week ago, I was eating my tuna mayonnaise baguette whilst chatting to my friends before an exam. I watched in disgust as one girl finished her baguette in three bites and sat waiting for 15 minutes for the rest of us to finish.
"How do you manage to eat so fast?" I asked her, amazed.
"I don't chew." Seeing my querying look, she added,
"What's the point in chewing when you've got hydrochloric acid in your stomach?"
I decided not to answer. Incidentally, when I asked her how she found the exam, she replied,
"I couldn't concentrate because I had such a bad stomach ache."
I rest my case.
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You could always go on to freak your friends out by regaling them with the story behind Boerhaave's Syndrome. In brief, an admiral of the Dutch fleet in the 18th century, renound for his overindulgence on the food front brought about his own, wholly self-inflicted demise; his food pipe exploded.
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